NeoNero7's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[TOME: Nylocke's Day Off]

Skip the dialog, skip everything else and lets look at the animation.

There barely was any to start with. I understand Newgrounds allows all kinds of submissions but seriously, If feels like i just sat through a Work in Progress at a board meeting. This submission was basically an Animatic with so the animations that you felt like doing. Yet you get so many 5's up the butt; Charazard, And lets not forget the fact that high rating reviews are mainly the ones that get the "People find this helpful" sticker.

But ya'know... "these Stupid kids cannot tell the difference you know they cant!"

This could have been done better, this could have actually have been fully animated short. I think you really should reevaluate your methods, your starting to remind me of modern day Capcom.

Even more so it seems the popularity of this series comes from the fact that
1:Your Kirbopher
2: This is a par/sub-par flash series (Meaning it has a story and the aesthetic beats most works around here).

Please stop trowing your uncleaned up sketches into flash, adding sound and panning, then calling it part of animation. That is an Animatic and you know that! I mean for crying out loud I can still see the base shapes on your characters, the Gesture lines and the freaken grain you get from graphite when you scan a image drawn in pencil.

If you you want a ye old look-
Draw it out in Photoshop like promo art and throw a sketch filter on it. Then tint the page in septa tone
- I understand effort takes time but come on dude!!

In addition your animation, FIX YOUR COLORS PLEASE! Meaning

ADD SHADOWS!!!! To your characters and environments. (NOT JUST YOUR AVATARS)
You cant say its a style because its not, its a clear excuse, not to add shadows your characters.
especially since your promo art has shadows.
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This wasn't supposed to be this long, but more and more it seems like a cashin project, and i wonder at times do you even enjoy what your doing.

I would say take a chapter or two out of "Final Fantasy A+" its fully animated and it has the game atmosphere. The Text boxes are done CORRECTLY and even with that, it has a cinematic appeal rather than looking like a Dating Sim that I'm NOT playing. (yawn)

And why not listen to people who KNOW what they are talking about rather than those that are fanboys n' girls, and just eat up your stuff up, like ricecakes. (Ive seen your FB page) Not to be rude but most of them might even think "GO Animate" "Animations" (if you can call it that) are good too, just as long as they have a par/sub-par story.

If you look at my profile notice i have nothing submitted here YET, and think I'm one to talk like I'm a hater or something just wait...

All in all you take too much short cuts this product seem so lazy, "Balancing Act" seemed to have more effort in its pinky than this series. And it out right shows. But if you ever want to make this thing bigger than just its 15min of fame your gonna have to put in the effort dude.

[TOME Episode 03]

I going to say that this episode is a vast improvement over the last 2 episodes, thing felt like a cohesive package, yet id have to say it left me with a ton of mixed feelings.
Things that were explained were to the point yet, important basic things like whether the players are in the game or sitting at their home computer like dot Hack still are left out, or what are there classes, basic tech, what the purpose of the battle grid is or what it is, or a lastly the basic rules of the game. I getting the feeling you want it all shrouded in mystery but you need give at least shred of basic SOLID information about the world around the characters to chew on. For example the grid comes and goes and we are expected to just accept it. If its vial to the story we should know some basic information about it. Further more the if normal players cant fight, in the city without the grid, then why are the characters able to defend themselves, should they be running away or try to set up a grid? (I think that's was a missed opportunity)
The group debug name now seems to make sense in lieu of there objective but now still it poses the question, why are the "bad guys" trying to fix a problem, when they are the "bad guys", what happen to admins or mods or server checkers.
The episode also feels to be lacking character, and I cant put my finger on what it is.
Maybe its because the music doesn't set a mood and there is silence from it drones one into the other a just tends to get ignored or blocked out.
Maybe the characters seem to be a bit 1 dimensional for some reason, and some behave like background filler, rather than have interesting over generic feel to them.
Maybe its because the Voice Overs feel a bit read-dee in some areas and some things needed to be pushed more than they were.
Maybe its the fact that your colors are bland in everything (except for the voice avatars -VA-), making you feel tired or depressed. The VA's have vibrancy a pop to them (shadows/contrast) keeping you glued to the screen but once they get pulled off screen your loathed to see the bland depth-less "ingame" character counter parts, and backgrounds.
....
For some reason the episode gave dull vibe to keep watching, maybe because of the main fact that the main characters (MC's) still have no objective at all not even a small one ( episode exclusive one) that we as viewers can look forward to or a set expectancy. (ex: we are going to the beach, <- automatically your given an expected goal in mind; MC's are going to have fun ) GIVE THE MC's Something to do, even if the main story goal is different than there initial objective, it seems like the "bad guys" the only ones that have a goal (a mysterious one at that) but there is noting the viewer to look forward to/expect to see at all. I understand you might be gearing up for something big but without an current objective or mini-objective it ends up giving a hollow why am i watching feeling like they are just floating in space until the real story or an event starts. Dragonaut does the same angle and looses a lot of people, because aside from the "mystery X creature/thing" their is nothing to else to sink your teeth into.
Why were they meeting up in the first place, we don't know. (no base objective was stated, and if it was the conversations weren't clear enough like the conversation between Nye and Kirb in Ep2 when they were hiding in the bushes)
.....
But thats about all i can say, really every thing else felt planed out and peaced together, jokes seemed more natural than forced. The Supporting characters stayed supporting (just a little too much though making them a tad bit forgettable IMO) and unlike the first two episode things felt like something happened, like the wheels of a story were actually starting to turn rather than just feel waist of time or a boredom filler, and I applaud your efforts.

[EVo3: Finally Some Action]

"CREATIONISTS SHOULD NOT WATCH THIS FLASH" why would you say that? I'm a creationist and honestly there is really nothing there to offend "us" aside from your comment that is totally insulting. As if to say "we" have less than half a brain and "we" can't take things with a grain of salt. Its a fictional flash short, why would any one take it that seriously unless your intentionally trying to offend someone, sir Createtard. (EP1)

Now onto the more pressing matter, Your presentation.

Honestly this all audio. Nothing really happens. The entire thing can be just listened and were pretty much clear on exactly whats going on, the end is the only exception aside from that there is nothing really to be seen. I wondered things like why you didn't bother to animate the campfire and why certain things like the background of the ship and are just bland and boring to look at, while the characters just stand still while only there mouths seem to move.
Only person that seem to have any actions while talking was Xleek who seems to be a seriously boring version of Zim and half the time I was wondering when Grrrrr was going to pop out.
The jokes seem to fall flat the same typical slap stick you'd come to expect in a lot of these other flash cartoons, even further characters don't express pain anger or anything else aside from their lines. Then things aren't really animated most of it is a motion pose, that don't really convey anything coupled by the voice acting chalks up to "I'm just reading the lines" which yields into forgettable characters and an even more forgettable flash animation.

Next from your presentation is please fix your framing / set up your shots better and look at your timing
Xleek blends into the back ground when hes getting mad so most of a persons focus is on Brian since hes the one talking and his face doesn't clash with the BG and he seems to be pushing the rest of the cast off screen , so unless your forcing your eyes to try to see Xleek, no dice. Other parts were Brian's hand gets cut out of the shot cause both characters are oddly spaced on the screen, so there was no sense in him moving it since he's wearing black clothes in an already dark area, his gesture is like being cut off and once that scene is over you forget that he even moved his hand at all, or he even moved for that matter. I understand that all gestures aren't all that superduper important but if some one shakes there fist to sell a point thats something that you should frame correctly so that your viewers may be able note, so when they think back on that moment they can remember what he did, and lets not forget the kind of jestures a character makes defines him/her as the viewer sees them. Also some fames that need more time, you just flash some shots right before us and stuff need to sink in or comprehend is lost.

Next your Pallet is Ew.
Reason your main characters barely stand out from the world around them, when I'm not looking at the flash I cant even remember what they look like especially Xleek, his character is like the batman in a dark alley, and then you shoot your cast into an even darker setting. That turns from understandable to yellow lines every were, think about your choices in scenery and character colors before you make them.

LAST Story.
If you want this to be taken seriously you have to put lasting things into it. You can't expect the message your trying to tell to come across properly if every thing is the same tone all the time.
And you really give no incentive to keep watching.
Whats the Problem, IDK
Whats the Goal, IDK
Why are those 2 even on the ship, IDK
Oddly enough here is a survey fact, majority of people in around the globe believe in some form of creation over evolution, or a combo of the two. So why again are THOSE TWO really there?
It all most seems like a very poorly told conspiracy story with shallow characters, and nothing seems to stick and there is no presence of "The universe is bigger than we may think" at any point which is something you should have established already. Please fix.

vezanmatics responds:

REVIEW OF A REVIEW...REVIEWCEPTION

Wow, you just really had nothing nice to say about this flash, did you. If not, why didn't you just vote 0?

If you mentioned once that you were angry about the creationist jab, then proceeded to offer constructive criticism (ways i can improve this series, usually starting the sentence with 'you should') i would believe you.

But since you mentioned the creationist jab once, proceeded to say nothing but bad things about it, then mentioned it AGAIN and tried to justify your position with a bullshit statistic, I think you just wrote out this exhaustive (and extremely nit-picky) review because you were butthurt about that little remark.

Not everyone is an excellent director, or a colorist...my job is to grow as an artist and as a person, and to develop my characters and story so that I can earn a respectable name in the flash portal.

Answers to your 'unanswered' questions are on the previous episodes. Watch em.

Next time you review, offer some pros and suggestions, not just cons.

Oh, and for the record, there are more scientists in america named "Steve" who acknowledge evolution as a valid scientific theory than all the scientists in the world who don't. Thing is, our theory is backed by scientific observation and overwhelming evidence...your...HYPOTHESIS...is not science and never will be. It's just a conclusion that you're desperately trying to find evidence for.

CASE IN POINT: THIS IS WHY I INCLUDED THAT WARNING IN THE DESCRIPTION...HATERS GONNA HATE

[TOME Episode 02]

Yea I When there... Part 3

%u2022And Why was he in a restricted place to begin with?%u2022
We never find out.So many questions you raise and you never close them or bring us a feeling that we are on the path to learning something, about the world around the characters or the characters themselves.

The entire Ep.2 was pointless.

%u2022 Also What the Heck happen to the Main character?!%u2022
No character in any work of Literature, Art, SHOW, MOVIE should be more appealing or more important or interesting than the MAIN Character. Did you forget that? (not to be rude) Yea sure we want to know about the other SUPPORTING CHARACTERS but they should actually SUPPORT the Main character showing us viewers why he's the main dude/dudet to begin with what makes him/her so special. It should have been ALFA's concern not Kirb's in learning about GC (if he is the main character). Especially since it would make more cense seeing that it is confusingly shown in the 1st Ep. He doesn't know everyone that well, but his connection to the group seems to just run through Kirb and FlameGirl.

You Must understand that you are the writer we are the viewer we cant read your mind and we don't know how things come together. You have to crank it out in a way that we feel like things among characters and the story is progressing. You shouldn't be opening other questions especially when you haven't stabilized your Main Character, his/her Goal, his/her Obstacle.

As it looks now i think you need to rethink how you will be telling the overall story and how each episode will fit together to tell a bigger tale, as of now it looks like a fantasy world rather than a game and it was a bad idea for you to have this in a game universe (No Offense) since there is so much missing and your characters interact with it in a fantasy world like manner. Id even like to call you out on the fact that you seem to be writing strait ahead, things don't seem to add up.

Id like to see better than this for this Series especially since I was inspired by TOME to put Mine into motion.

[DateNight]

LOL!!!!!

YO YO YO WHAT THE FU--
You sir have made a masterful flash total WTF, Whata Twist, ROFLMAO moment.
Everything happened so fast.

well placed everything, even the voice transition, epic cool points!

[TOME Short: Hackers]

There will aways be hatters

First off, I tried reading the low reviews and one person gave a hefty review with a rating of a 1 that lasted to 2 parts that was nonsense in a bottle in which i was totally loathed to waist my time reading. To him & everyone else that wants to step on these points repeated points

This is the internet get a life! Apparently you don't watch Yu-gi-oh or & other TV anime intently enough to know that all of them have mouth loops. So get over it! Your watching a cartoon not a Game cinematic.

Kirb has chosen his art style deal with it or look at something else. Yea, sure Gradents are flash animation killers if used with out skill or proper placement & the addition of shadows would be nice giving the colors depth, but seriously, look at the rest of the stuff on Newgrounds or any other flash cartoon site, do you honestly sit there & go "this shows graphics suck" last time I checked you were not the design director, Esclaflone does not look like SoulEater or PowerPuff Girls Z & Egoraptor has stated this already & once is enough, we don't need this to continue on every flash animation he makes for the rest of the series. It would be nice for him to improve, but many of you become pricks about it. Anime only uses 2 colors base shadow

Voice acting is subjective so STFU, they arn't getting paid to do this. You bomb all day on sh*t that isn't crippling to the show & if its that bad CLOSE THE F*CKING TAB, seriously your not playing Chaos Wars & They aren't professional actors, so back off! They deliver their lines as best as they can i would think.

Humor is also subjective, everyone has their own humor, Not everyone watches FamilyGuy or finds that mess funny, So dont be a prick and comment on his jokes or humor, if its not for you TO BAD! I find TropicThunder seriously funny some of my friend say the swearing is too much and kills the jokes, same goes for Kirb so QUIT b*tching on this sh*t just change the channel. You don't watch every Anime ever made, & even if its good somethings just wont appeal to you.

Lasty WHO THE HELL ARE YOU to define His characters, Hackers are people who modify programs illegally trough code. (standard def.) I read one review telling Kirb how to define what his characters do. I can farm do farming (the selling user accounts) too but I don't need to hack to do it. The motives and Actions are subjective only to the writer(s), And if Kirb want redefine the term "Hackers" he can because that is what they call those people in HIS STORY, just iike i can say "Dogs" are what humans use to drive around in, in my story - his universe his rules! DERF.

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I Rated this independently from TOME EP1 since it is an independent flash animation. that why it has an 8. It shows me character relations and descriptive about them, a well done introduction. As annoying as they are Whiskers its very tolerable and so is That Jelly dude, & i really get a sense of the characters.

But if he doesn't like games Why are they playing in the first place is the real question? Its like purchasing an Xbox when you know for a fact I don't like Microsoft and you don't use Microsoft products.

Next is Why wasn't this in EP1 of TOME? This Short actually had me engaged in the villans and provides a motive and provides information on what Alfa found. this would have been a better scene for the introduction of the hackers than what had.

lastly a pet peeve i hop you change in EP3 since EP2 is half way done,whats the deal with the standing around your characters just seem to sit there in empty space, & its painfully apparent, there not even walking around like there looking for stuff, Its to difficult describe.

Im not a fan of the Orginal TTA, I watched 4 EP's the first 3 & the Final, to see what all the fuss is about, & the fan base seems to be centered around people who have seen the first. Honestly I don't want to be reintroduced to a story, so I'm watching TOME with a background free view, but you need to kick up your story telling skills to get others interested, a shiny images and flashy fist can only get you so far

[TOME Episode 01]

Interestingly Difficult to Say....

Ok, first of id like to say that i do like this series, but for the unfortunate reason that i look forward to any & all series made in flash.
I've watched this movie over 20 times the 1st time was to see what was the deal the rest was with a critical eye.
I've read a lot of the bad comments that plague your review section, unfortunately I have to agree with them, I've especially taken an interest in the reviews with your response; I have this to say a few things, hopefully you'll take this into consideration.

1- Story: this has been said over and over, and I hope that it would improve later on. A lot of it is useless banter that never establishes a solid plot or objective. There no overall goal to be achieved, this is the first episode the main plot should have been established here. At no point do i (the viewer) know why they are playing this game in the first place. Neither do the villains seem to have a purpose aside from loosing to a virus. Why are the hackers even there, Looking for something you say? What is it? I don't know? Why are they a problem? Are they being a road block to others or are they just harassing players. Its missing so much crucial information that I, as a viewer should know right away. Surly not in depth but I should at least be able to get something to chew on. "What are we looking for again?" You never tell us, forbidden power? Is that what the main character found, or is that his sub-conscience? Is it an item? is it a thing, There is no indication really, at first episode I shouldn't be thinking into things yet, & that scene was so confusing to understand. Essentially you have no establishing story, its a bunch or rambling, random fights some odd glitch in the game. Hopefully in the next Ep. you will nail down establishing information.

2 - Characters: when I closed my tab the first time I literally forgot the entire cast along with the point of the story that wasn't there, & the way these characters are presented is really confusing. Alfa is introduced as if know these people for quite sometime yet it is spoken in text to say that he's a newbie in a 1 to 1 conversation with FlameGirl. The same conversation that feels to dump viewers sometime in the middle of the series, we never even got to see an establishing connection or any growth in a relationship between any of the characters, so why are we having this forced emotional conversation?. And if Alfa is better than Kirb, how is he the first and only to go down? Sure, Kirb asked for help but no one other that Alfa seem to be struggling, especially since the prior conversation said he was good. How long has Alfa really been playing?! The Hackers, they don't even seem like hackers, it really seemed like Alfa was doing the Hacking, the Hackers just look like High level players picking on noobs.
Please fix how you present your characters, you mis constancy, and fail to support them what we see. ex: her friend yet she doesn't go to fight with them... odd

3 - Presentation: Please Kill the unnecessary gradients, use real shadows, they are simple shapes that add depth and don't look bad especially since your characters have no shadows. I understand your under-dead line and you want to push this out every month, but having a face set system is killing you. It would have been better to have Mario & Luigi word bubbles and the mouths placed on the standing animations, and using the poses to swap out for the constant standing bobs. You have even random set peaces and compositions that are actually animated and would be preferred over seeing face sets popup when you really don't need them. Like the fire scene you could have just animated the faces and some motions and BAM! Your face sets are really unnecessary, & What is with the Grid??? There is no point to it its just an added Background- How come some fights have grids and others don't? And where the heck are the contact shadows?

:: :: :: ::

I love the potential of this series. but you have some obvious issues you need to work out.

[There she is!!!]

Sauce-some!!!

THAT was just ..... :D